March 23, 2015:
I read and re-read the mail several times.
"Looking forward to working together."
Formal and friendly.
I had still not gotten over the HR guy's call telling me I've been selected for the role I was interviewed for. He had told me to expect an offer letter soon. I was still wrapping my mind around the whole thing when it hit my inbox. That night, I couldn't sleep at all. Not even a wink. This is by far the best thing to happen to me. But the thought that in less than a month I was to turn my back on the life I am leading now, and never look back, gives me a heartache.
I have always thought I can't multitask when it comes to emotions. But during the first week of accepting the offer, I felt joy and pain at the same time, and in equal measure. I swung between happy and sad thoughts in a span of milliseconds:
______________________________________
Now:
Actually, I still am wrapping my mind around it. It all happened just too quickly. Still is. I don't panic at the thought of leaving, anymore. The thing is, I just go about my day like no big change is looming ahead. I haven't started visiting people to say goodbye. These people I should have regularly visited, and I feel super-guilty about it. I haven't booked my Bangalore-to-Chennai ticket. I have no plans for the short break I will be taking before starting on my new job. I am still figuring out what parting gifts to give my friends, relatives, and co-workers over here. Heck, I have only a week left and I haven't even started packing and clearing my room. Is this normal? Or has my brilliant brain just upped its defense mechanism?!
I read and re-read the mail several times.
"Looking forward to working together."
Formal and friendly.
I had still not gotten over the HR guy's call telling me I've been selected for the role I was interviewed for. He had told me to expect an offer letter soon. I was still wrapping my mind around the whole thing when it hit my inbox. That night, I couldn't sleep at all. Not even a wink. This is by far the best thing to happen to me. But the thought that in less than a month I was to turn my back on the life I am leading now, and never look back, gives me a heartache.
I have always thought I can't multitask when it comes to emotions. But during the first week of accepting the offer, I felt joy and pain at the same time, and in equal measure. I swung between happy and sad thoughts in a span of milliseconds:
- I landed an absolutely spiffing role with a start-up!! But, I was going to resign from my first-ever job.
- Challenging work ahead! And I love challenges!! But, I was going to bid goodbye to my amazing team...
- Back to my family and friends!! Yaey!! But, I was going to say goodbye to people I have grown very, very attached to...
- Back to Chennai!! More of the beach!! But, I'm leaving Bangalore, the city that took me in with open arms, the city where the best part of my life happened...*wails*
- Back to school buddies!! But... No more Gautham (my fav cousin) or Athai or Mama or Snoopy... *bawling now*
______________________________________
Now:
Actually, I still am wrapping my mind around it. It all happened just too quickly. Still is. I don't panic at the thought of leaving, anymore. The thing is, I just go about my day like no big change is looming ahead. I haven't started visiting people to say goodbye. These people I should have regularly visited, and I feel super-guilty about it. I haven't booked my Bangalore-to-Chennai ticket. I have no plans for the short break I will be taking before starting on my new job. I am still figuring out what parting gifts to give my friends, relatives, and co-workers over here. Heck, I have only a week left and I haven't even started packing and clearing my room. Is this normal? Or has my brilliant brain just upped its defense mechanism?!
Hey awesome read :) All the very best in ur new role!
ReplyDeleteWe will all miss you too.. :) randomly stubmbled across ur blog.. looks like i follow ur blog :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Icky! :D
ReplyDeleteAm gonna miss you guys too! :'(